Are You Sure He’s Not Autistic?
“Are you sure he’s not autistic”? Those words still go through my head daily.
I have heard of autism before, but I didn’t really know or understand what it was. I didn’t know signs to watch for, what it was, or knew anyone who had the diagnosis.
My son was a healthy 9lb 6oz baby boy who slept extremely well from being a newborn. All his checkups went great! He was growing like he was supposed to and hitting milestones he was meant to hit. He was perfect in every way.
I noticed around 1.5 years old, there were things he did differently than my other two babies. He wasn’t babbling or even trying to talk. He wouldn’t look at us or acknowledge us when we would talk to him. He wasn’t even recognizing his name when we would say it.
He had a huge fascination with lining things up and anything that would spin. He did this cute hand flapping thing every time he got excited. He was never a baby who really needed someone to play with, he pretty much entertained himself and wanted nothing to do with us when it came to playing with him. He just preferred to do things on his own.
Don’t come at me, but we are screen time parents. We have the tv on all day. Being home more then I’m not, I need background noise. My other two babies would watch certain shows, but they would also play more than they would watch. It was just kind of on while they played.
With my 3rd baby, he would sit and watch the same movie on repeat all day long. He would want it on from the time he woke up until he laid down at night. I just thought he really liked the movies Cars at that time.
He started not hitting his milestones
I was noticing at his checkups I was starting to check no for more and more milestones.
Does he interact with you?
Does he make eye contact?.
Does he know one or more colors or letters?
Does he understand simple comands?
Does he eat with a spoon?
Does he wave goodbye or say hello?
Does he clap his hands?
Does he play peek-a-boo or patty cake?
Does he point to an object when you ask him?
Does he bring you a toy to play with him?
I couldn’t say yes to any of the questions.
He’s not autistic, he’s just a slow learner; he’ll do these things when he’s ready.
I kept telling myself that. He’ll talk when he’s ready. Boys are always slower at learning then girls. They learn at their own speed. He will get there.
It wasn’t until one day when my mother-in-law was over and she had asked me, “Are you sure he’s not autistic”?
I didn’t really know what to say and I just shrugged it off at first. It was never mentioned by his pediatricians to me, I’ve never even thought about the possibility of something being wrong with my child. Why wouldn’t his Dr say something to me?
I just thought all the things he was doing was normal baby behavior, I just haven’t experienced it with my other two kids. Everything he was doing was new to me and I didn’t think anything of it.
I needed to ask his Dr. for her opinion
His next checkup came and after talking to a friend of my MIL I was convinced that I needed to question my son’s behavior. I needed to know if what I was being told by other people was true.
I wanted to know if my son needed more.
I needed to know that him not doing things like talking and playing with me was normal for his age.
It’s hard. It’s a very hard thing to do to ask your kids Dr. if he can get a referral for an autism evaluation.
When I had brought it up at his next appointment, she quickly agreed that he needed to be seen.
Why, after they knew he wasn’t hitting milestones, he wasn’t making eye contact or recognizing his name when called, he had a fascination with lining things up and making things spin, even his hand flapping which he did in front of them at his appointments, why was I the one asking if he needed to have an evaluation.
After his appointment I remember feeling a little bit of relief. Not just because I wasn’t crazy for thinking there was more to him, but if there really was something else going on, I was going to eventually get answers.
Don’t be so quick to dismiss others’ opinions when it comes to your child.
If it wasn’t for my mother-in-law asking me that day, I honestly don’t know if I would have thought twice about it. Would I have thought about something being wrong with my little boy when I’ve only heard of the word autism a handful of times in my life?
Would I have brought it up to his Dr or even them bring it up to me? I wouldn’t have gotten him the help that he needed as soon as I did, if she didn’t feel like she could ask me that hard question.
You see your kids every day. You want to think they are perfect and they’re growing healthy and in their own way.
It took someone else asking me if he was growing at a healthy rate. It took someone else asking me if he needed more.
All those little things that he was doing that we thought were “cute” or were just his personality, were signs that there was more to his story. There was so much more to him than we could ever imagine.
At 2.5 years old our son was diagnosed with Autism.
Getting his diagnosis opened so many doors for him to get him the help that he needed to help him excel in life. To help him become the intelligent 6-year-old little boy that he is becoming.
Getting that diagnosis didn’t change anything about him, but it changed so much for the better at the same time.
It hasn’t been an easy journey, but it is our journey living with a child on the Autism Spectrum.
