The Terrible Twos or Are They Terrific Twos?
Right when you get through the newborn stage, the sleepless nights, the learning to crawl and walk, and those stubborn teeth making their way through, the “terrible twos” are creeping in.
But are they really that terrible. Everyone tells you when you have a newborn to just wait for the terrible twos stage to get here. We look at our precious baby who is just learning to walk and start talking and think how could this sweet little boy be terrible. All the love he gives and joy you get from seeing him reach each new milestone.
It isn’t until that day finally comes where he’s throwing toys, jumping from the couch to the coffee table to the right on top of the dog. The moment he’s pushing and pulling chairs to reach what he wants on his own. When you’re carrying a screaming toddler out of Target because he just wanted that cool looking barn that he has at home already.
He will look you straight in the eye with the biggest grin as you’re telling him not to jump up and down in the tub flooding your bathroom floor. He will look at you and start counting with you when you’re trying to get him to stop hitting his brother.
The Terrible Twos bring the meltdowns over anything and everything when something doesn’t go their way. Crying and screaming when they don’t want to eat or take a nap anymore.
The more of the terrible two emotions that came, the angrier I would get.
Why do toddlers at the age of 2, my last one on the other hand started around 1.5, get so upset and emotional all of a sudden.
How Do I Deal with It?
It’s very easy to get angry and frustrated with this outburst that come out of nowhere. You’ll be playing at the park but when it’s time to go it’s like their world just ended and you’re left with a crying, kicking and screaming kid.
Are we ever going to get past this stage?
At what point do we think these aren’t the terrible twos, these are just the moments that are children are learning. They’re learning to be patient, kind and learning boundaries.
As adults don’t we get frustrated when we’re learning something new or can’t figure out a solution to something. I know I do! As adults though we’ve learned how to regulate our emotions (for the most part). We can communicate when we need something.
Toddlers can’t always communicate how or what they’re feeling. Ending up coming out as a tantrum. Leaving you feeling defeated and wanting to just give in.
How do we get through the terrible two stage without loosing our mind?
1. Be Patient
I know this one seems impossible. Try to be as patient as you can with them. Yelling or screaming back at them when they’re upset will only make them more upset. You want your kids to learn how to regulate their emotions and what better way than staying calm and patient yourself. Don’t let them see you get frustrated with them. If you have to walk away for a minute walk away and come back with a more positive approachh.
2. Sleep
Most toddlers around age two need around 11-14 hours of sleep a day. I don’t know about you but when I’m tired, I get cranky. Put them down for a nap. If they’re absolutely refusing to take naps anymore try pushing their bedtime back an hour at night. Getting enough sleep is good for their brain development, making them more aware, helps with regulating their emotions and overall puts them in a better mood. Set up a good bedtime routine and ensure they’re getting enough sleep.
3. Prepare Them for What’s Going To Be Happening
Let them know ahead of time what’s expected. If you’re planning on leaving at a certain time, let them they know they have so many minutes till you’re leaving. Tell them before you go into the store, they’re not getting a new toy today. With our third child who is on the spectrum, we came to find out that if we told him the plans for what we were about to do, he functioned ten times better.
4. Give Them Rewards.
It doesn’t have to be anything big or reward them every time. Have a little reward for them ready if they do what’s expected of them when you see a tantrum coming. If they eat all their dinner they can have one cookie. When they get all their toys picked up, they can watch a little tv before bed. Get some stickers for when you’re ready to leave the store. Whatever will encourage them to act responsible and do as they’re told.
5. Positive Words
Who doesn’t like being told when they’ve done a good job? Toddlers the same as adults like positive feedback. Let them know how great they did eat all their dinner. Tell them how nice the room looks after they’ve picked up all their toys. Make it know what a great job they’re doing. Hearing positive, encouraging words will help make them want to do it again.
6. Redirect What They’re Doing
If you see a meltdown shining through, take their mind somewhere else. Start tickling them, playing peek-a-boo, see if they want to move on to another activity. This goes back to getting rewarded as well. Let them know they have a sticker waiting for them if they don’t cry when leaving the playground. Get them thinking about something else to hopefully get their minds off of what made them upset.
7. Stay Calm
This is an important one. Try to stay as calm as possible. If you let their tantrum, make you have a tantrum, you’re setting yourself up for a day of tantrums. Step out, take a moment and just breathe. Figure out what made them upset, try to redirect them and fingers crossed you can both come out happy.
8. Ignore What They’re Doing
Now I don’t mean completely ignore whatever it is they’re doing but I know when my little guy is doing something he’s not supposed to, he will look directly at me and do whatever it is he wants. Waiting for me to react. I find when I don’t acknowledge him, he will stop. Not all the time but most of the time he will move on to playing with a toy or doing something else.
9. Explain To Them
They might not comprehend why they can’t climb on the table and jump the first time you tell them or why hitting their siblings is wrong but use words that they can understand and learn. Let them know why it’s important for them to eat their dinner. Kids pick up everything so use words that they can easily understand.
10. Remember It Doesn’t Last Forever
This stage will go by quicker than you think, and you’ll look back and laugh at all the things your little ones used to do. Just try to live in the moment and remind yourself that it’s temporary. They are learning and pushing their limits and before you know you’ll be sending them off to kindergarten ready to go.
Don’t let the terrible twos keep you from enjoying the terrific twos too.
There might be a lot of things that your 2-year-old does that makes your question whether or not you’re cut out for this whole mom thing, but all the terrific, wonderful and amazing things that they do every single day far outweigh the terrible.
Don’t let the short-lived tantrums keep you from enjoying this stage. Take as a way to teach your child how to become the amazing person they’re meant to be and enjoy the ride.
