We’re Not Angry, Sad or Depressed (Most of the Time)

When you’re not angry, sad or depressed but you come off that way.

Do you ever get asked why you’re so angry, sad or depressed? So many times, you get looked at as being mad about something or depressed all the time. You’re lashing out at everyone and everything. You’re yelling at kids for every little thing they do. Your husband seems the get the blunt of it even though he’s trying his hardest to help you out the best he can.

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We all get angry at times but how you deal with the anger is what matters the most.

You know, when your kids seem to do nothing but fight and argue all day and finally one of them is crying. If they would have just listened the first 5 times, I told them to stop, there wouldn’t be tears right now.

You’re tired of telling them to pick up their dirty socks and clothes off the bathroom floor after you spent all day doing laundry.

When they get home from school and backpacks and shoes are thrown randomly in the living room for you to play hopscotch over to get to the kitchen when they belong in the closet or in their rooms.

You’ve been in the house for days on end and you can feel the mom burnout kicking in. You can’t remember the last time you had a shower or a moment to yourself. (Check Out How to Beat the Mom Burnout for tips to take care of yourself.)

That last wrestling match in the living room where something breaks, or a kid is now crying sets you off and you now start to sound like a crazy lady yelling and screaming at everyone.

Yeah, I can see why they think I’m angry.

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Anger isn’t a bad thing.

It’s how you deal with the anger that matters.

You’ve yelled, screamed, cried all in the matter of 10 minutes. At everyone. You’ve completely lost it.

Now you’re left with that feeling of guilt. You got it all out and now you’re sitting with the thought of why I just did that. They must think I’m the worst mom ever the way I just tore them apart like that.

You’re left with the guilt just sitting there, it’s time to apologize and hope they understand and forgive me.

Until it happens again…..

How Do I Not Get So Angry and Sad?

Everybody gets angry and frustrated. It’s uncontrollable but how you deal with it and nip it in the butt before you’re screaming your head off is important. Teaching your kids how to deal with their own frustration by learning how to deal with your own takes time.

Learning what leads up to this moment and learning how to fill you needs takes time. You probably feel lost and deprived of things you love doing. You might not be taking care of your needs and your wants. You’re so busy taking care of everyone else and making sure your family is happy that you’re putting yourself on the back burner.

Moms need to be taken care of too. Sometimes we forget that.

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Before you get to the point of being angry or sad, try these little things to take care of yourself first.

1. Get Away

I don’t mean go away for days but get out of the house. Go be by yourself for an hour or two. Even if it’s to the grocery store. The car drive there, the walk around without little hands grabbing anything they can reach. Let your mind be free for just a little. Not having to worry about littles running around the store or a tantrum happening. Be By Yourself.

2. Give Yourself A Little Love

Go get a long hot shower. Relax in a hot bubble bath with a book or your favorite song playlist. Light some candles and throw in a scented bath bomb and don’t worry about what’s going on in your house for a moment. Go get your nails done, get a pedicure or get your hair done. Your husband will have it under control so you can have a little quiet time and take care of yourself.

3. Journal or Write

Start writing in a journal about your days. Yeah, they might look the same every day, but it’ll help you pinpoint what’s triggering your anger and hopefully help you not get to that point. Even if you’re just writing your feelings down it’s not bottled up inside just burning a hole. Show it to someone or keep it for yourself, either way get it out.

4. Start Dating Your Husband

Yes, we know our love life gets put to the side. It takes a toll not only on you but your relationship as well. Leaving you feeling ill towards each other and mad at each other trying to keep your household functioning. Go out to dinner or go see a movie. Take a walk around a cute little town and check out all the little shops. Remember that you’re in this together, not against each other. Let your partner know what’s been bothering you so they know how to help you overcome it.

5. Talk To Someone

Whoever you feel like you can talk to about things, talk it out. Whether that be your mom, husband, sister, brother or a friend, have someone you can talk to. Try a therapist if you feel like that’s what you need. Keeping it all in only makes it worse when it wants to finally come out. Because when it comes outs, it ALL comes out.

6. Rest

Sometimes all you need is to take a nap. Go to bed a little bit earlier or sleep in when you can. Especially if you have a newborn or are a first-time mom. Prioritize your sleep and get it when you can. Tiredness can come out as anger.

7. Find A Hobby

Start something that is just for you. Something you love doing and can do it by yourself. Learn a new craft, start a home project, begin a blog. Whatever it is you like to do or want to learn, do it. Go to your room, shut the door a start a new book series. Find something you enjoy and can do once a week.

8. Take A Step Outside

Go outside and breathe. When you feel yourself getting to the point where you’re about to lose it walk outside and take a deep breath. Take a minute to gather your thoughts and remember you only get once shot at raising your kids. One change to teach them how to deal with their own emotions and frustrations. Don’t let them see you rage and yell at them leaving them questioning themselves.

My last take on how to get out of the cycle of being an angry and sad mom.

If you take anything out of this post, learn to talk to someone. Talk to yourself if that works. Get it out so it’s not bottled up until it bursts out and comes out as anger and you’re left with the guilt of mom rage. You can’t take care of your family if you’re not taking care of yourself too.

Remember that how you react and how you handle situations, your kids are watching. They are learning that’s it’s okay to act like a crazy lady and it’s okay to yell and scream.

Teach them that getting angry is not a bad thing, but how they control it and take charge of it matters the most.

Now go fill your cup so you can be the best mom that your family deserves!

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